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Six Sure Signs You’ve Found Your Perfect Valentine

Is there such a thing as “The Perfect Valentine?” And if so, how do you know when you’ve found him/her? For me, it wasn’t so easy. Until I figured it out. Here’s the story:

It all started in second grade. Back then, Valentines Day was all about quantity – the cool kids took home lots and lots of valentines. Little valentines, big valentines, lace doiley valentines, candy valentines…they could barely carry them all home!

I wasn’t one of the cool kids. I got a valentine from my teacher and one from my mom.

In seventh grade, the Valentine’s Day ‘cool’ factor was defined by who sent your valentines. I remember sitting in my chair at school, silently praying I’d get a valentine from Andy Sweet – yep, that was really his name and nope, I didn’t get one. I did get one from a boy named “Chip.” ‘Nuf said.

In high school, Valentine’s Day was a really big deal. By then, we were old enough to understand the “romance” part of Valentine’s Day and it took on a different meaning. My school had a Valentine’s Day dance and the cool factor was all about who went with whom.

I didn’t go to the dance. None of my friends went. Instead, we gathered in a basement and played our guitars, singing really bad songs we’d written about all of the Valentines who had done us wrong. Now I ask you: does it get any more cool than that?

Through college and graduate school and early into my 40’s, I watched as my friends came to the conclusion that Valentine’s Day was a capitalist plot, conceived as the result of a joint venture between greeting card, flower and candy manufacturers. They vowed to stay pure. They would not be sucked dry by that stupid Cupid card with the sparkles that stayed stuck to your shoes long past St. Patrick’s Day. Nope, not them! They were strong, independent, powerful, driven, centered, educated realists. They didn’t need Valentines Day…. They had laptops!

For them, February 14th was just another day on the calendar. Not for me. I held onto the belief that there was a Perfect Valentine for me…somewhere.

And then it happened. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. It was quiet and subtle and I would have missed it if I hadn’t gone shopping. It was February 14, 1999. Just another Valentine’s Day. I stopped at the grocery store for pasta and walked out with a stack of 17 greeting cards – all destined for one man. Each one had a different message, but all of them fit. So I bought them all.

Did I sell out? Did I lose myself in the romantic crazies? Did I give up on “cool” and settle for whatever I could get?

Nope. I simply found My Perfect Valentine. How did I know? I saw the signs. In fact – I saw six.

So here they are – The Six Sure Signs that I’d found my Perfect Valentine. See if they fit for you:

  1. You lose interest in Doritos. Okay, maybe not. But you’re willing to eat the entire bag in one sitting right there in the same room and lick your fingers when you’re done. That’s a game changer.
  2. You discover a part of yourself that you never knew existed. And you really like that part.
  3. Breathing is easier, sleep is deeper and thoughts are clearer.
  4. You realize you would give up everything to be with that person – and that person won’t let you give up anything.
  5. You like yourself better when you’re together than when you’re apart.
  6. Time goes way too fast.

This year we will have been married 10 years. And the signs are still there – brighter and more vivid than ever. My Perfect Valentine.

I’m not saying everyone needs to have a Perfect Valentine. In fact, I’m not saying anyone has to have ANY Valentine. I cherish the time I was on my own and I wouldn’t change it. But now that I know what this is like, I don’t ever want to go back.

If it sounds like something you want too, then please don’t stop until you make it happen for you. Because life is far too short to settle for less than you truly want.

Have a Happy Valentines Day and I’ll look forward to seeing you on the Fast Track!


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